


On Bananas

by rememberwhenyoutried



Series: Let There Be Light [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, F/F, Fluff, Trans Female Character, Transgender, Transstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 20:52:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rememberwhenyoutried/pseuds/rememberwhenyoutried
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TT: It’s here at last!<br/>TT: It was delivered this morning. I have it right in front of me.<br/>GA: Your Medication I Assume<br/>GA: Unless You Were Expecting Another Package Of Great Import That I Was Not Aware Of<br/>TT: The parcel was enormous, and round. For a few seconds I thought someone had mailed me a basketball, and a bafflingly well-sealed one at that, a matryoshka of bubble wrap, but after several minutes’ indelicate work, I was victorious: I held in my hand a pair of broken scissors.<br/>TT: Fortunately mom had a medical kit to hand, a very comprehensively stocked one from the lab.<br/>TT: So, yes, I have my first batch of hormone pills in front of me and, yes, we opened the package with a scalpel.<br/>TT: I refuse to recognize any symbolism in this.<br/>TT: None.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Bananas

tentacleTherapist[TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]  
  
TT: It's here at last!  
TT: It was delivered this morning. I have it right in front of me.  
GA: Your Medication I Assume  
GA: Unless You Were Expecting Another Package Of Great Import That I Was Not Aware Of  
TT: The parcel was enormous, and round. For a few seconds I thought someone had mailed me a basketball, and a bafflingly well-sealed one at that, a matryoshka of bubble wrap, but after several minutes' indelicate work, I was victorious: I held in my hand a pair of broken scissors.  
TT: Fortunately mom had a medical kit to hand, a very comprehensively stocked one from the lab.   
TT: So, yes, I have my first batch of hormone pills in front of me and, yes, we opened the package with a scalpel.  
TT: I refuse to recognize any symbolism in this.  
TT: None.  
GA: Very Wise  
TT: I have 4mg of estradiol and 100mg of spironolactone to take daily, from here on out.  
GA: You Must Be Excited  
TT: My mother is extremely excited. Two days ago she served me, with much fanfare, a banana split, "as a surprise going-away present from the bananas."  
TT: It was indeed unexpected, as it was six in the morning and I was in bed at the time. I initially declined, but she persisted, and I relented. It was delicious.  
TT: She then spent much of yesterday making a great show of removing all remaining bananas from our home.  
GA: Bananas  
GA: Is  
GA: Is There A Joke Here  
GA: Are The Bananas Symbolic  
GA: Am I Expected To Spot The Banana Allusion Immediately And Smile Quietly In The Knowledge That We Have Shared An Ironic Moment  
GA: Help Me Out Here Rose  
GA: What Is The Meaning Behind The Bananas  
TT: Potassium.  
GA: Oh  
TT: I must now watch my potassium intake very carefully which means, unfortunately, that I can no longer eat bananas as regularly as I once did. Or, ever, really, to be on the safe side.  
TT: It's a shame.  
TT: I rather like bananas.  
GA: Bananas Are Deadly To You  
TT: That's a bit of a stretch.  
GA: No This Is Interesting  
GA: Now We Both Have A Symbolically Deadly Food  
TT: I'm not a vampire, Kanaya. Crossed bananas are not the trans girl crucifix. You cannot simply wave them at me and expect me to retreat, hissing, into my basement lair.  
GA: You Never Know Until You Try  
GA: I Have My Deadly Rainbow Drinker Speed And Subtlety  
GA: Your Mother Will Never Catch Me To Steal My Bananas  
GA: I Will Wait Outside Your Window Until Morning Breaks And You Wake From Your Slumber  
GA: And In I Will Swoop Wielding Deadly Fruit  
GA: You Will Not See Me Coming Until It Is Too Late  
GA: Be Warned Rose Lalonde  
GA: There Is A Vampire Coming For You  
GA: And She Cannot Be Stopped  
TT: That actually sounds pretty nice, you know.  
TT: Bananas aside.  
TT: Feel free to swoop at any time.  
GA: Very Well  
GA: You Have Sealed Your Fate  
GA: One Day When You Least Expect It  
GA: When You Have Forgotten This Conversation  
GA: When Your Guard Is Lowered  
GA: I Will Be Waiting  
GA: I Will Approach From Behind  
GA: And Your Neck Will Get Such A Nibbling  
TT: Then since they are numbered I must ensure I enjoy the rest of my days to the fullest.  
TT: Perhaps a good start would be actually taking one of these pills.  
GA: You Have Not Yet Taken One  
TT: It's important to me to make each part of my transition into an event. That way, when I feel I'm making progress too slowly, I can look back on recent months and say to myself, "Well, at least I did x."  
TT: Where x equals whatever daft thing I did to dress up a simple activity and turn it into a milestone.  
TT: Like when I dragged you to my first voice therapy session.  
GA: There Was No Dragging Involved  
GA: It Was Fun For Both Of Us Despite The Woefully Out Of Date Fashion Magazines In The Waiting Room  
GA: Especially Afterwards When We Went Roller Skating  
GA: I Had Never Seen The Night Sky From Quite That Angle Before  
GA: Or Bruised My Seating Bumps So Colorfully  
TT: Sometimes I think you make up troll anatomy terminology on the spot.  
GA: How Dare You  
GA: I Am Hurt To The Very Depths Of My Volition Organs  
GA: My Occlusion Flaps And Feeler Barbs Are Aquiver With Rage  
GA: Rose Lalonde I Turn My Audacity Column On You  
GA: Good Day Madam  
TT: I apologize.  
TT: How could I ever have been so crass?  
TT: Please forgive me.  
TT: I do not wish to provoke a diplomatic incident between our two species.  
GA: Very Well  
GA: In The Interest Of Intergalactic Cooperation I Will Reopen Relations  
GA: The Past Is The Past  
TT: Let us shake our congeniality batons and make up.  
GA: Now Youre Just Being Silly Rose  
GA: Humans Cant Shake Their Congeniality Batons  
TT: I'm double-jointed.  
GA: Is That A True Thing Or Are You Merely Playing Along  
TT: I can bend my thumb right back to meet my arm. If there is such a thing as a congeniality baton it's very probable I can shake it.   
GA: I Dont Know Of Any Such Organ Or Limb  
GA: But I Would Be Willing To Find One And Name It So If You Promise To Shake It  
GA: In My Presence  
GA: Slowly  
GA: Maybe With Music On  
TT: I can find something to shake, I'm sure.   
TT: Although I must admit that this conversation's gotten away from us somewhat.   
TT: I meant to ask you, in the spirit of commemorating my every trans mile marker with an event, if you would come over tonight?  
TT: I have Netflix and a bottle of cheeky 1986 olive blood – at least, that's what it says on the label.   
TT: It also says "Have fun, XOXO, Mrs Lalonde."  
TT: That's how we know for certain my mother likes you. When it comes to me her sporadic parental impulses, confusing and occasionally terrifying as they are, come from a place of love. She wants nothing but the best for me, even if sometimes she has trouble saying so.   
TT: I used to believe that her motherly gestures were as ironic and insincere as her apparent wizard obsession.   
TT: But I've come to realize that her love, like her enthusiasm for the bearded arts, is completely genuine.   
TT: You, however, she wants to impress. She's not been Mrs Lalonde since, well, ever.   
TT: I'm not certain I was created the usual way, now that I come to mention it. She hung on to the stork story much longer than is probably normal.   
GA: I Was Hatched In An Underground Cave Countless Light Years From What Is Supposed To Be My Home Planet  
GA: I Am Not Sure Which Scenario Places You Closer To Me  
GA: Coming Out Of Another Person With All Your Arms And Legs Already Sticking Out And Grasping At Things  
GA: Or The Stork  
GA: Which In Reference To Our Conversation Earlier I Was Fully Prepared To Call A Grub Avian  
TT: Hmm. Perhaps I should start thinking of my own obscure names for everyday objects, to compensate for your changeable troll nomenclature.   
TT: How would you feel about referring to coffee mugs as "drowsiness filchers" from now on?  
GA: Conflicted  
GA: And Once Again The Conversation Has Wandered Off Course  
GA: You Were Asking If I Would Come Over  
GA: You Offered Netflix And Blood As Additional Incentive  
GA: I Was About To Accept  
TT: Wonderful. Will you be driving yourself or should I prepare myself for another encounter with your intimidating pseudomom?  
TT: I didn't exactly make a good first impression.   
GA: I Believe She Understood  
GA: But No I Will Be Coming By Myself  
TT: In that case I ought to get ready.  
TT: For starters, I should put some clothes on.  
GA: If You Think That Is Advisable  
GA: I Will See You In An Hour Or So  
TT: I will look forward to it.  
GA: <3  
TT: <3  
  
tentacleTherapist[TT] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

#

Your name is ROSE LALONDE, and you’ve been TRANSITIONING for a couple of months now. You’ve settled into a NEW NORMAL, which is essentially your life as it was before, but with a newfound SENSE OF CONTENTMENT AND SATISFACTION, and some gorgeous NEW CLOTHES.

You’ve not got any better at applying eyeliner, though.

“Fuck,” you mutter, narrowly avoiding poking yourself in the eye with the pencil. You observe the uneven mess that is today’s attempt, and reach for the cotton buds. You’re not actually planning to wear eyeliner tonight, but since it is the last basic makeup technique you are working on you’ve been practicing whenever you have time. After all, where’s the sense in learning to contour properly when you can’t line your eyes?

You run a finger over your jawline. Damn: a little stubble. You sigh and buzz it with the electric shaver. At least you won’t be growing any more of the stuff, but sooner or later you’re going to have to deal with what’s already there, and that means lasers or hot needles, neither of which particularly appeal. It’s times like this you envy Kanaya’s perfectly smooth soft skin.

Okay, you envy her basically all the time.

You still aren’t quite used to spending so much time with her. It wasn’t long ago you were a lonely, solitary teen, wrapped in formless misery, and now you have someone beyond wonderful who seems content to spend quiet evenings with you watching movies and talking and...

Someone is standing behind you.

Before you can turn, gray arms wrap themselves around your waist, bunching your bathrobe up and trapping you a slightly awkward pose. You’re still holding the shaver, and you gesture vaguely with it as you mock-protest.

“You’re early!” you squeak.

“On the contrary: I believe I am right on time,” she says, and gives you a squeeze. She looks over your shoulder at your reflection and you look at hers: she’s grinning mischievously, her fangs highlighting her already beautiful smile. She looks different somehow, but before you can work out what it is she gives you another squeeze and almost lifts you off your feet.

“Put me down!” you say, laughing. “I haven’t finished beautifying myself yet.”

She nips playfully at your earlobe, then grumpily murmurs, “Fine. I will go and arrange myself properly on your bed and await your glorious presence.”

“You could at least have waited until I’d got dressed,” you say, refastening your bathrobe and turning to face her. “I am at quite the disadvantage.”

Sat on the bed, Kanaya bounces; she’s so full of energy today! You spot what’s different about her.

“Hey, you changed your hair!”

It’s shorter, still black, but more tousled and layered. She pretends to adjust it with the palm of a hand. “What do you think?” she asks.

“I think it’s gorgeous. It suits you. Now, shoo! I need to make myself presentable.”

Kanaya makes herself look serious. “Whatever it is to ‘shoo’ I will not do it. I’m here to stay and you will just have to deal with that.”

You can’t help but laugh at her failed attempt to look stern. “Then I will choose mismatching items and put them on _in front of you!_ You will be forced to witness me transform myself into a fashion disaster.” You open the wardrobe. “Purple and light blue go together, right? Maybe with some green accents and an orange belt...”

With startling rainbow drinker speed, Kanaya is standing next to you at the wardrobe, her hand on your arm. “No,” she says. “I cannot let you do this. Until you opened this upright clothing vessel—don’t laugh, Rose, this is serious—you were merely a girl, but now you are a dangerous young woman and you must not continue.” She takes both your arms in her hands and guides you back towards your bed. “This,” and she gestures back at the wardrobe, “is too much power for one flighty broad. It must be used wisely.”

You allow yourself to be gently pushed onto the bed. “I’m a flighty broad, am I?”

Kanaya turns on you her strictest frown. “If there existed a device that could measure both your flightiness and your propensity for what I believe Dave calls ‘snarky horseshit’ it would be overheating right now and close to an explosive failure which could injure us both. Please, think of the device.”

“Very well,” you say, pretending to sigh. “If the Snarky Horseshitometer can only be saved by my acquiescence then I yield.”

“That is not its full name,” Kanaya says, “but your cooperation is appreciated.” She starts rifling through your clothes.

You arrange yourself cross-legged on the bed and watch her work.

#

You’re not sure you’ve ever been more content.

To be sure, the night of the bonfire when Kanaya kissed you for the first time may have been the most intense night of your life, but tonight may well be the most blissful.

You’re lying on your bed with Kanaya, in the middle of a pile of cushions and little plush Cthuloids, your legs together with hers and your laptop balanced on your paired knees. You’re paying very little attention to the movie because you’re chatting and making silly jokes and you’re starting to feel very sleepy.

Kanaya had dressed you in a loose, dark skirt and a pale top, which you suspected after a walk around the garden, in which you were thoroughly chilled by the fall breeze, might have been a ruse to make you cling to her for warmth. You’d come inside and your mom had pizza delivered and you ate together, all three of you, companionably talking about nothing. It was nice; a little family moment of the sort that had once been all too rare.

Apparently pizza and olive blood were quite pleasant together.

You took your pills right there at the kitchen table. Your mom gave you a big hug after and then Kanaya kissed you and led you by the hand up the stairs back to your room. You’d fallen onto your bed, kissing, laughing, and spent a while just talking about nothing. You were a little startled when your mom came in with a bowl of popcorn but she just grinned at you, kissed you on the forehead, and closed the door quietly on the way out.

You’re still not sure what this movie’s about. You think there might be zombies? Or... mummies? It’s hard to concentrate because Kanaya’s right there. Her arm is around your shoulders and you think you hear her murmur something but when you look over she’s just smiling.

She looks a bit tired. Maybe after this movie she should go home.

You don’t like the sound of that. You turn over and put an arm around her waist and you close your eyes, just for a moment.

The last thing you feel before you fall asleep is her warmth, spreading through your body like wine.

#

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling porrimMaryam [PM]  
  
GA: Porrim  
GA: Um  
GA: Im Not Coming Home Tonight  
PM: Kanaya, dearest, I think perhaps yo+u are a little yo+ung for that. Altho+ugh yo+ur cho+ice of partners can't be faulted, I'm given to understand.  
GA: What  
GA: No  
GA: I Mean  
GA: Im Not Against The Idea  
GA: I Think About It A Lot Actually  
GA: Ur  
GA: That Is  
GA: We Consider Ourselves Matesprits And Or The Human Equivalent And One Day Soon We Will Probably  
GA: Oh  
GA: God  
GA: What Am I Saying  
PM: No+thing I wo+n't remind yo+u abo+ut to+mo+rro+w, at length, o+ver a mug of ho+t cerulean.  
GA: What I Mean Is  
GA: Im Not Coming Home Because Were In Bed Watching Movies And  
GA: My Arm Is Stuck  
GA: We Had A Lovely Evening But Now She Is Asleep And  
GA: I Dont Think I Can Move Without Waking Her  
PM: O+h my. Are you co+mfo+rtable o+therwise?  
GA: Considerably More So Than I Am With This Conversation  
GA: My Mortification Sacs Are At Full Inflation  
GA: Between This And Roses Mother Looking In And Seeing Us Lying On The Bed Together  
GA: With Rose Asleep In My Arms  
GA: And Giving Me The Most Theatrical Wonk I Have Ever Seen Before Turning The Lights Out And Closing The Door  
PM: A wo+nk?  
GA: It Is Like A Wink Only More Confusing  
GA: Anyway My Point Is  
GA: I Dont Know What My Point Is  
GA: Everyone Is Apparently More Ready For Rose And I To Become Intimate Than I Am  
GA: And Perhaps Rose Also But She Is Asleep As I Mentioned Before  
GA: Ugh I Know Im Rambling Im Just  
PM: Kanaya, slo+w do+wn.  
PM: No+bo+dy is go+ing to judge yo+u.  
PM: Be calm.  
PM: Sleep by yo+ur matesprit.  
PM: Allo+w yo+urself to+ enjo+y this night witho+ut fear o+f reprisal from yo+ur custo+dial adult.  
PM: Lo+o+k fo+rward to+ to+mo+rro+w mo+rning because I pro+mise yo+u, Kanaya, perhaps the o+nly thing better than falling asleep with so+meo+ne special is waking up with them.  
GA: Wow You Are  
GA: Good At This  
PM: Well I'm very o+ld, dear. I'm go+o+d at a lo+t of things.  
PM: O+h, + please pass my co+mpliments to+ Ro+xy Lalonde. The blo+o+d she pro+vided is as go+o+d as the real thing, + co+nsiderably less headache-inducing to o+btain.  
GA: I Will  
GA: Thank You  
GA: Good Night  
  
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling porrimMaryam [PM]

**Author's Note:**

> Porrim's lack of a Trollian/Pesterchum name is a personal decision on her part and totally not as a result of any laziness from me.
> 
> When I finished it my betas were both asleep, so I take full responsibility for all typos, quirk failures, Britishisms, UK spellings in general, and all other mistakes and deficiencies.


End file.
